Holo World Three
Episode 3
Love
by
James Richard
DRAFT NO. 1
Date 25/04/2002
Scene 1: Int. - Front Room - Night
Brian looks into mirror.
Brian
Well this is a fine state to be in? What do I do next then?
Brian squints up face.
Brian
Hum. Double Hum. Double hum with cheese on. No fries.
Brian stares at himself.
Brian
Love.(PAUSE) I need love. (PAUSE) All you need is love.
Brian smiles.
Brian
Love and understanding.
Brian looks left and then right.
Brian
I need to find my true love. (BEAT) My real true love. (BEAT) One who won't leave me for no good reason. (BEAT) One who loves me for who I am. (PAUSE) Not what I am. (PAUSE) Or who they think I am.
Brian looks down at the floor.
Brian
A love of my own. I used to love so easily. I must have had at least.
Brian counts on fingers.
Brian
At least four true loves. (BEAT) Why did I have to go with my wife?
Brian looks at mirror.
Brian
Tell me why I chose her? (PAUSE) Go on. Why did we end up together?
Brian turns away from reflection.
Brian
You are useless. You never took the time to see what they were really like.
Brian walks over to sofa.
Brian puts hands on his head.
Brian
I should have been more careful. More business like. I should have interviewed them first.
Brian turns around and runs to mirror.
Brian
Yes. You fool. (BEAT) You should have interviewed them to see who they thought you were. Rather than assuming they knew. (PAUSE) Damn I am so stupid sometimes.(PAUSE) How CAN you interview them?
Brian smiles.
Scene 2: Int. - Front Room - Night
Brian paces the floor in front of three true loves.
True-love-number-one watches his every move.
True-love-number-two looks at True-love-number-three .
True-love-number-three looks around room.
Brian stops.
Brian turns to women.
Brian looks at women in turn.
Brian
Right? Which of you lot love me for who I am?
True-LOVE's
Me!
The women look sternly at each other in turn.
Brian
Alright. So who do you think I am?
women start to squabble.
Brian looks to camera.
Brian
Bad idea.
Brian looks back to women.
women start to cat fight.
Brian
Fine. Don't mind me.
Brian turns.
Brian walks towards kitchen.
Brian
I think I shall go make myself I nice cup of tea. And maybe when I return they will all be gone.
Brian pauses at kitchen entrance.
Brian turns and looks at women fighting.
Brian
Maybe I should go for fantasy women instead. Maybe three celebrities would be a better. (PAUSE) And safer bet.
Brian turns and exit's room.
Scene 3: Int. - Front Room - Night
Brian lies on sofa looking at ceiling.
Brian
But who do I choose.(BEAT) There are so many beautiful women.(PAUSE) How do I choose one from all those women. (PAUSE) And then there are those who are already taken.
Brian rubs hand down face.
Brian
This is going to be tough. (PAUSE) But someone has to do it.
Brian smiles.
Brian
Well. Let's see.
Brian rolls eyes.
Brian counts up to three using fingers.
Brian
Well. That makes three. But what should I do now?
Brian sits up.
Brian
I think I shall interview them (PAUSE) separately. (PAUSE) This time.
Scene 4: Int. - Front Room - Night
Brian looks across to candidate-one.
Brian
Good evening?
Candidate-One
Good evening.
Candidate-one smiles.
Brian smiles back.
Brian turns to camera.
Brian
So far so good.
Candidate-one turns to camera.
Candidate one
This guy is weird.
Brian smiles.
Brian looks at candidate-One
Brian
Do you know who I am?
Candidate-One looks at Brian hard.
Candidate-One
No? Should I?
Brian
I guess not. (PAUSE) My name is Brian. I would like to ask you a few questions.
Candidate-One
Oh. This is an interview?
Candidate-one sits back
candidate-one
Fire away.
Brian smiles.
Brian
You know I have a very big crush on you don't you?
Candidate-one sits back up
Candidate-one
No really? Wow. Why's that then?
Brian looks up into the air.
Brian
I don't really know. I wish I did. I think there is just something about you that make's me feel like I know you.
Candidate-one sits back.
Candidate-one
That's nice. I am getting that feeling too. You do seem familiar. (PAUSE) Maybe we met in a previous life?
Candidate-one laughs.
Brian looks to camera.
Brian
We haven't met in this one (BEAT) yet.
Scene 5: Int. - Front Room - Night
Brian looks across to candidate-two.
Brian
Hi?
Candidate-two
Hi ya. How you doing?
CANDIDATE-two smiles.
Brian looks at CANDIDATE-two.
Brian
I am fine.
Brian looks candidate-two up and down.
Brian shakes his head.
Brian
This was a bad idea. (PAUSE) Next.
Scene 6: Int. - Front Room - Night
Brian crosses legs.
Candidate-three looks at Brian.
Brian smiles.
Brian
Err.
Brian clears throat.
Brian
Good evening. And how are you on this fine evening?
Brian twitches head.
Candidate-three leans forward.
Brian looks down cleavage
Brian look into candidate-three's eyes.
Candidate-three breathes in.
Candidate-three
I am very (BEAT) very(BEAT) very(PAUSE) horny.
Brian opens mouth wide.
Brian stares at candidate-three.
Candidate-three smiles.
Candidate-three
Does that shock you?
Brian
Well.
Brian frowns.
Brian looks to camera.
Brian looks back at candidate-three.
Brian
Well. (PAUSE) Yes. (BEAT) Yes.
Brian nods head.
Brian
Yes.
Brian looks back to camera.
Brian
Yes. I am shocked. To put it bluntly (BEAT) I am mind blowingly shocked.
Brian collapses on sofa.
Scene 7: Int. - Front Room - Night
Brian sits up.
Brian sighs.
Brian (on sofa#1)
Well that was interesting.
Brian#1 puts head in hands.
Brian (on sofa#2)
So who is it gonna be then?
Brian (on sofa#1)
Well we have the choice of a horny little devil.
Brian (on sofa#2)
That would be candidate three. Would it?
Brian#1 shakes head.
Brian (on sofa#1)
I would never of guessed she was like that.
Brian (on sofa#2)
Or candidate-two
Brian (on sofa#1)
A teeny-bopper on speed.(PAUSE) You must be joking.
Brian (on sofa#2)
Or candidate one.
Brian#1 smiles.
Brian#2 smiles.
Brian (on sofa#1)
Or.
Brian (on sofa#2)
OR.
Brian#1 sighs.
Brian#2 sighs.
Brian
Or candidate one.
Scene 8: Int. - Front Room - Morning
Brian looks at candidate-one.
Candidate-one looks around room.
Brian looks to left.
Brian
Where should we go?
Candidate-one
Are you talking to me?
Brian
I'll be with you in a minute. (PAUSE) Somewhere normal. (PAUSE) Not too expensive. (PAUSE) Lunchtime?(PAUSE) Yes.
Brian turns to candidate-one
Candidate-one looks at Brian.
Candidate-one
Hello again.
Candidate-one smiles.
Candidate-one puts her hands together excitedly.
Candidate-one
So where are we going for lunch then?
Brian smiles.
Brian
Do you know Chez Brian's in the High Street?
Candidate-one raises eyebrows.
Candidate-one
Yes.
Brian looks to camera.
Brian
Must be my lucky day?
Brian looks back to candidate-one.
Brian
Shall we say twelve thirty. At Chez Brian's.
candidate one
Yes. Sounds great to me.
Brian
It's a date.
Candidate-one
Sure is.
Brian
See you soon.
Candidate-one
Sure will.
Brian stands up.
Brian
You will be there?
Candidate-one
Of course.
Brian walks towards stairs.
Brian looks at her.
Brian
Twelve thirty.
Candidate-one
Twelve thirty.
Brian walks up stairs.
Scene 9: Ext. - Restaurant - Day
Brian walks into restaurant.
waiter walks up to Brian.
Waiter
Table for one sir?
Brian
Table for two please. In a nice secluded, quiet spot please. I am expecting candidate-one.
Waiter
Of course sir.
waiter leads Brian to table .
Brian
That will be fine.
Waiter
Would you like to order now?
Brian
I think I will wait for candidate-one.
Brian smiles.
waiter walks away.
Scene 10: Ext. - Restaurant - Day
Brian looks at door.
Brian looks at clock.
waiters look at Brian
Brian looks at waiters.
Brian shrugs shoulders.
waiters laugh
Waiters talk amongst themselves.
Brian looks back to door.
Brian
We did agree twelve thirty?
Brian looks down at hands.
Scene 11: Ext. - Restaurant - Day
Brian stands up.
Brian looks at clock.
Brian looks at waiters.
Brian looks to camera.
Brian
Damn. I am a fool aren't I?
Brian walks towards door.
Brian opens door.
Brian steps out into street.
Brian
Bollocks!!
Brian kicks pavement.
Brian looks straight up into sky.
Brian
Arghhhh!
scene ends with a camera zoom out from brian's face.
camera continues to zoom out as if from the centre of the Universe.